My boyfriend and I got locked out of my house AND his house simultaneously 40 minutes before I was due to start work because we are fatasses that decided to wake up and go get coffee together.
I didn’t even have a bra on. No makeup. Pjs. Sex hair. It was a mess.
To make matters worse, I had just drank a large Dunkin Donuts coffee and I was ready to poop in his bushes if it came to that.
He lives in an apartment without windows low to the ground so we couldn’t break in to his house (where all of my stuff to get ready was).
We drove to Wendy’s so I could poop in my own private shame (they have a one person bathroom).
Eventually, we had to drive a while away to where is roommate works to borrow their key.
I was 2.5 hours late.